Pet Food By-Products Drive Will Wonkers

 Animals & Pets, Will's Thoughts  1 Response »
Mar 022013
 

Wills ThoughtsI’ve kept a frustration of mine quiet for at least a decade, but today the dam bursts, the bubble pops and the milk gets spilled. The object of my rejection is ‘by-products’, the pinnacle of capitalist cons, and the summit of social stupidity. I reckon that by-products began a long time ago, when we began adding preservatives to food, but it was only within my lifetime that true by-products appeared. Now when I refer to ‘true’ by-products, I use the definition found in Wikipedia. A by-product is a secondary product derived from a manufacturing process or chemical reaction. It is not the primary product or service being produced. Continue reading »

Crazy Lady Learns That There Is Such A Thing As Way Too Many Pixels

 Just Interesting, Will's Thoughts  2 Responses »
Feb 252013
 

mealybug

Too much information is not always a good thing. Nor are too many pixels necessarily good for the soul. However, when you combine the two, you get Crazy Lady running around the house with a serious case of the heebie-geebies. Such was the way that my afternoon unfolded. So, let me tell you my tale. Not feeling well, I laid down on the couch ‘for a few minutes’ today, while the Flash Fairie floated around the house with her new camera, transforming reality into itty-bitty illuminated pixels. Now, we all know what to expect when kids playing suddenly get quiet, and I reckon that Pattie Pixella ain’t no exception to that rule.

To back-step in time for a moment, about once a year she, who makes UFOs seem normal, goes on an entomological expedition, involving an up close and personal examination of her potted photosynthesizing prisoners. It needs to be stated here, that while the Wild One has been known to burp, fart and giggle like a teenage boy, she has a reactionary revulsion for certain insects, Continue reading »

RayRay Lights Up Crazy Lady’s Life

 Just Interesting, Will's Thoughts  No Responses »
Feb 172013
 

love affair on-line
I reckon that I ain’t a jealous fella, but every once in while I’ll make an exception. Case in point; a mysterious male internet ‘friend’ of Crazy Lady’s, called “RayRay”. I first heard his dastardly name mentioned in January, but it was in passing, so like anyone with reproductive organs attached externally, I paid no attention. But I should have, because soon RayRay began to haunt my dreams. By the beginning of February, Mrs. Greenjeans began talking about how she was itching to ‘get out of the house’ and ‘play’. This was when RayRay moved into our lives. I started hearing his moniker mentioned far too often, and soon, I started putting ‘RayRay’, ‘getting out’ and ‘playing’ together. It wasn’t long before I was almost 100% certain, RayRay was out to ruin my day and take my love away.

It took me a spell to figure out how the lovebirds met each other, and why all their Continue reading »

Stovetop Symphonies Are A Serious Problem – Will’s Thoughts

 Jokes & Humor, Will's Thoughts  3 Responses »
Feb 032013
 

Wills ThoughtsI love music. I love all types of it, from rock to rhapsody, and from swing to symphonic. Sometimes I like it loud, and at other times I like it as soft as leaves being used by the wind to whisper lullabies. It can excite me, making me want to dance and march, or with silken smoothness, soothe my soul. Music has always been a part of my life, and always will be. It has made me hum in elevators, and leap about my living room with wild abandon when no one is around. Music plays at the biggest turning points of our lives, from weddings to funerals, and what would entertainment today be without it?

The irony of my love for arrangements of all things audio, is that I neither carry a tune, nor do I have any semblance of rhythm. Now, please don’t misunderstand me. Just because I cannot sing, or keep a beat, it does not stop me from Continue reading »

The Worst Celebrity Websites According Will

 Will's Thoughts  No Responses »
Nov 272012
 

Wills ThoughtsI reckon, that in the light of the digital dawn, it has become incredibly easy for anyone to tell the world their story, and to interact globally with others. So I find it puzzling that some pretty high profile people (celebrities), who make a living by getting into the spotlight, digitally give their fans the middle finger. Perhaps they have made too much money, or, maybe feel they are simply too popular. Or, it could be that they look down their noses with utter disdain for us gutter rats, who scrounge out our pathetic little lives in filth and despair. Whatever their excuse, it’s no excuse. They deliberately chose to take the path that they did, and preyed upon the public for attention and accolades. Once they got what they wanted, they used the Continue reading »

Will Thanks Levi Strauss | Will’s Thoughts

 Will's Thoughts  No Responses »
Nov 252012
 

Wills ThoughtsI reckon that there are some folks that I really should thank for being there throughout my life, often protecting, and always keeping me covered. There are few things in our lives that transcend childhood, that are a constant thread that carries on throughout our lives. And so, these folks need some well deserved recognition for being there for me, and a whole lot of other folks, now for many decades. The people that I’m referring to, are the good folks at Levi Strauss & Co. The company created, and patented, the world’s first blue jeans in 1873, and since then became a global apparel icon. From the very beginning, Continue reading »

Will’s Thoughts On Celebrity Childrens Names

 Will's Thoughts  No Responses »
Sep 252012
 

Wills ThoughtsI’m sure that someone has probably asked this question before, but what the heck is up celebrities abusing their children with bizarre names? For instance, Jermaine Jackson (Michael’s brother), and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza (who also had kids with little brother, Randy Jackson), named their son, ‘Jermajesty’. Seriously? Does Jermajesty mean ‘Royal Germ’, or, is it gutter slang for a judge? Here’s an idea, folks. Maybe next time, let the narcotics work off after the delivery before committing your child to a life of unnecessary ridicule and humiliation. And, for no other reason than having parents too inconsiderate to think beyond their own Continue reading »

Will Quits Speaking English In Will’s Thoughts

 Will's Thoughts  No Responses »
Sep 172012
 

Wills ThoughtsI have almost quit speaking the English language. While I continue to write it, only remnants of it now make it past my lips. I now mostly speak Inflection. Inflection involves the use of the unique combination of psychic, auditory, visual and physical expressions to communicate. To give you an example of the difference, in proper English the expression ‘Excuse me’, expresses a thousand pardons, or, polite perplexity. In Inflection, the same phrase can have multiple meanings, depending on a number of variables. For instance, it can mean that we’re sorry for a mistake (demonstrated by slumped shoulders, lowered voice, a tendency to mumble and avoiding eye contact), or we’re confused by something that was said (demonstrated by that deer-in-the-headlights look we get when we’re really thinking, ‘My God, is he/she still talking?’). It can mean that we’re Continue reading »

Wills Thoughts On The 43rd Anniversary Of Woodstock

 Will's Thoughts  No Responses »
Aug 212012
 

Wills ThoughtsLast week marked the 43rd anniversary of the Woodstock Music & Art Fair (informally known as Woodstock, or The Woodstock Festival). Woodstock was a music festival, billed as “An Aquarian Exposition: 3 Days of Peace & Music”. It took place from August 15th to August 18th, 1969, out on Max Yasgur’s six hundred acre dairy farm, in the Catskills near the town of Bethel, New York. Rolling Stone magazine said the Woodstock festival was one of the ‘50 Moments That Changed the History of Rock and Roll’. Organizers expected no Continue reading »

Will Thoughts On Television And Motion Pictures

 Will's Thoughts  1 Response »
Aug 142012
 

Wills ThoughtsI heard someone talking about the current state of television and motion pictures the other day, and while I can’t print exactly what they said, let’s just say that it was a heap less than flattering, and positively prolifically profane. It made my heart go out to studio execs, who are desperate to find the next big hit. Their constant quest for sensationalism keeps them on the very edge of madness, as evidenced by some of the crazy stuff they come up with. Shows like Continue reading »

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