- Golf balls are like eggs; they’re white, sold by the dozen and a week later you’ll need to buy more.
- Pro-shops get their name, because you need the income of a professional golfer to buy anything from them.
- It’s more enjoyable to get up at 6:00 am to play golf, than to get up at 10:00 am to mow the yard, or go to church.
- The rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about their wives doing the lawn work.
- It takes longer to learn to be good at golf, than to learn to do brain surgery. But, on the other hand, it’s not too cool to bomb around on a golf cart, swearing and drinking beer while performing brain surgery.
- Golf is the perfect Sunday activity, because you always end up praying.
- A good golf partner is one who’s always just slightly worse than you.
- Just as you’re having the game of your life, a storm will roll in.
- Golf appeals to the child in us, proved by our inability to count correctly.
- It’s simple to keep your ball in the fairway, if you’re not choosy about which fairway.
- If profanity influenced the flight of a ball, everyone would play better.
- If your opponent says he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
- The most wonderful sound you’ll hear on a golf course, is the Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh of your opponent’s club, as it floats across the fairway.
