I, like so many males of our species, go through life pounding my chest shouting, “Look at MY children, didn’t I bring them up well? Or, I created this garden, isn’t it beautiful?” There are so many things to take credit for, and somehow, we always seem to forget that we have a partner in all of this. We seem to revert to our caveman mentality, fantasizing that we are the masters of all our accomplishments, when in fact, if it wasn’t for our wives, many of them wouldn’t have happened. For example, no man has ever given birth to a child! I had very little to do with raising my kids when they were growing up. I was always the guy who came home amorous, with a little bag of dirty shorts and socks, because while in the navy, I was away from two weeks to eight months at a time, and I was only home on weekends while I was trucking. Hey, I was there for our children’s conception, so I deserve some of the credit. At least that’s the way all us men like to see things.
It isn’t until we get older that we really start to appreciate our mates. It’s when our flock leaves the nest, and we are alone together, that we truly realize the impact that our mates have had on our lives, and of those in our families. But, with an empty nest, the maternal instincts start kicking in and soon they start wanting to mother us. Like their children, they try (too late) to bring us up right. They start telling us how to dress, and make sure our ears are clean. Women start trying to save their men from demon cigarettes, and the deliciously unhealthy foods at the store. We are then told that they are saving our lives. They start serving us broccoli and green beans, not understanding that it was the garbage that we’d eaten for years that’s kept us alive, and reasonably healthy all these years.
I’d like to get back some of my kitchen privileges, so I could cook up a good breakfast of hash brown potatoes, some nice fatty pork sausages and fried eggs, instead of the soggy cereal that our grandchildren refuse to eat. I think my wife is saving me, so she’ll have someone to do the vacuuming, take the garbage out, and all the rest of the chores we’re allocated to do as a reward for retiring. One day, I’ve been told, women will no longer need men, because babies will be created in laboratory dishes. I can almost hear future female historians looking back in time, saying, “There were males of our species back then, but we found them to be redundant, so we replaced them with little glass dishes, automatic garbage disposal units, automatic dishwashers and online shopping, computer controlled cars and whoopee cushions.”
~ In his own words: “Mel McConaghy, a retired truck driver and a proud Prince George resident who believes, after travelling the world, it’s the ‘Best Damn Place to Live’.” Mel McConaghy stories and books are available from his web site at www.melmcconaghy.com