You kiss your girlfriend’s home page.
A VRML (virtual walk through a park) is your idea of a good date.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
Your glasses have a web site burned in on them.
Your dreams are in HTML.
You call going to the bathroom as downloading.
You introduce yourself as “Jim at gmail.com”.
You step out of your room, and realize that your parents moved, but you don’t have a clue when it happened.
You turn on your baby monitor when leaving the room, so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
Your dog has its own home page.
Your dog’s homepage is actually good.
You check your mail. It says “no new messages”. So you check it again.
You don’t know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
Your husband has had a beard for two months.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
You tell the kids they can’t use the computer because, “Daddy’s got work to do”, but don’t even have a job.
The last date you had was with a jpeg.
You’ve had an estimate for how much it would cost to replace the computer chair with a toilet.
Your wife says communication is important in a marriage… so you buy her a computer so the two of you can chat.
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the “back” button.