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Holidays The World Could Probably Do Without | By Val Enders

Holidays The World Could Probably Do Without | By Val Enders

All of us are aware of the holidays that are already on the calendar, but sometimes I think that we should be allowed to pick and choose which ones we’d really like to have. If we could have a day off work for all the obscure holidays there actually are, we wouldn’t have to work a day in our lives. Hubby and I were discussing the days that we would most likely include if we could print next year’s calendar.

Me: “I found a list of holidays on the Internet we can choose from. You go first. Which one’s are you leaning toward?”

Hubby: “Let’s make it a rule that we don’t pick any that have gift giving involved.”

Me: “Works for me!”

Sadly, we have already missed one of the best choices, “Beer Can Appreciation Day” Darn! That’s one worth raising a glass, I mean can for, and we missed it. You can bet that’ll be on my list for next year. There are so many celebratory days to choose from it’s almost scary. Who comes up with these days? How do they even get on this stupid list?

Me: “Aha! Here’s one that’s definitely going on my list. “Hoodie Hoo Day”. People wave their hands over their heads and chant “Hoodie-Hoo” because they are sick of winter.”

Hubby: “They’re probably chanting “Hoodie Hoo”, because they’ve gone mad from being stuck in the house with the wife.”

Me: “Too bad it isn’t “Do A Grouch A Favor Day.” I can see how this conversation is headed, so I move on.

Cheers

Me: “Hey! It says here that March 20th is Alien Abduction Day! See I told you. Looks like we better start packing. I’m sure they’ll be looking for us again.”

Hubby: “Keep an eye peeled for our missing stuff this time, especially the dremel. I’m sure it’s gone through the worm hole with the other things we can’t find. Look, they’ve named a day after you!”

Me: “Oh yeah… what is it? Perfect Wife Day?”

Hubby: “Close…. It’s called Blah Blah Blah Day. They should call it Nagging Day.”

Me: “That reminds me, your “TO DO” list is getting mighty long with no action on the horizon.”

Hubby: “Oh oh.”

Me: “What’s the matter?”

Hubby: “You know that barbecue we were planning on National Hot Dog Day? Well, it seems it’s the day after Rat Catching Day. Whaddya suppose that means? You always were a little leery about those hotdogs.”

Me: “WHAT! We may have to change that and celebrate National Doughnut Day instead.”

We’ve been at this for over an hour, and are no closer to coming up with an answer to our holiday selection. Everyday seems to have something to celebrate….. ‘Blame Someone Else Day’, ‘Take Your Pants For A Walk Day’, ‘Ask A Stupid Question Day’, right down to ‘Waffle Iron Day’ and ‘King Tut Day’.

In the end we finally agree to add only one new day to the traditional calendar in our house; the “International Moment of Laughter Day”. So, right now I’ve decided to move up “Eat What You Want Day” and “Don’t Wash The Dishes Day”, to today. Then I’m going to sit down and have a good laugh.


Val EndersAuthor Val Enders resides in Spruce Grove, Alberta. She married her high school sweetheart, Richard, and they’ve been together for over 40 years. Val doesn’t consider herself a writer by profession, rather she writes more for her own enjoyment. An accomplished artist, Val’s a member of the Allied Arts Council of Spruce Grove. Visit Val’s “Journey Into Art” website at www.vals.webs.com

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