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Random Jokes | Questions | Quotes | Part 6

Random Jokes | Questions | Quotes | Part 6

Here is a collection of things to make you laugh, think and wonder

» Do you resent high fuel prices, and the massive profits being made by oil companies? Well, here’s a little advice to help hit them back in the pocketbook. Don’t ‘top up’ your tank the next time you fill up. When you do, the pump’s vapour recovery system sucks back in fuel and vapour so it isn’t released into the air, and puts it back in the station’s tank. It may only be a tiny bit, but millions of tiny bits add up.

» Three clever men, and one wise man, are walking in the desert, when they come upon the bleached skeleton of a lion, lying in the shade of a very tall tree. The first clever man says, “I can rebuild the skeleton,” and does so. The second clever man says, “I can rebuild the muscles and organs,” and does so. The third clever man says, “I can breathe the spirit of life back into the body,” and does so. The wise man climbed the tree.

» A psychology professor had just given a lengthy lecture on mental health, and was giving an oral test. Specifically talking about manic depression, she asked, “What would you call a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, but, sits in a chair and weeps uncontrollably the next?” At the back of the class, a young man raised his hand and said, “A coach?”

» A child’s love is like the dawn unfolding… bright, new and full of hope.

» General Mark Wayne Clark, commander of American ground forces in Europe during World War II, was once asked what he considered the best advice that he had ever been given. “To marry the girl that I did,” he said. “And, who gave you that advice?” he was asked. Clark’s reply? “She did!”

» Edmund Gwenn won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 1947, for his role as ‘Kris Kringle’ in George Seaton’s holiday classic, ‘Miracle on 34th Street’. Lifting the Oscar high, he got a huge grin and declared from the podium, “Now, I know that there really is a Santa Claus!”

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