Today I thought I’d share a list of what I learned from my children. For those who have children, this list is not funny. For those who are pregnant, this list is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this list is birth control.

Learned From Kids - Little Boy Pouting With Black Cat

My children taught me that a king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
My children taught me that if you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
My children taught me that a 3-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
My children taught me that if you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
My children taught me that one should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on; when using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit, and; a ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
My children taught me that the glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
My children taught me that when you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh,” it’s already too late.
My children taught me that brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
My children taught me that a six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man struggles to do it in the movies.
My children taught me that certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
My children taught me that ‘Play-Doh’ and ‘microwave’ should not be used in the same sentence.
My children taught me that super glue is forever.
My children taught me that no matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
My children taught me that pool filters do not like Jell-O.
My children taught me that garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
My children taught me that marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
My children taught me that one does not want to know what that odor is.
My children taught me that always look in the oven before you turn it on, and that plastic toys do not do well in ovens.
My children taught me that the local fire department has a 5-minute response time.
My children taught me that the spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
My children taught me that police officers respond to 911 calls parents never knew were made.
My children taught me that the cats throw up twice their body weight when made dizzy.

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Cathie