Will’s Thoughts | By-Products In Pet Food

Will’s Thoughts about by-products in foods.

I’ve kept a frustration of mine quiet for at least a decade, but today the dam bursts, the bubble pops and the milk gets spilled. The object of my rejection is ‘by-products’, the pinnacle of capitalist cons, and the summit of social stupidity. I reckon that by-products began a long time ago when we began adding preservatives to food, but it was only within my lifetime that true by-products appeared. Now, when I refer to ‘true’ by-products, I use the definition found in Wikipedia; A by-product is a secondary product derived from a manufacturing process or chemical reaction. It is not the primary product or service being produced.

In simple language, that means there is a whole bunch of crap in your food that you neither selected or desired, yet pay for and consume. Here’s a real easy rule of thumb for shopping, ‘If you can’t pronounce it, the chances are that it ain’t good for you’. Say for instance, you buy a popular loaf of whole wheat bread, and bring it home to enjoy its wholesome grains. Then you look at the label. Besides having enough preservatives to embalm rodents, it has ‘by-products’, which from my understanding, literally means it contains anything and everything from dried coconuts to sawdust. When you went to the store, did you intend to buy a loaf of by-products, chemicals and sawdust? Perhaps now you know why your children’s smiles seem a little ‘wooden’ lately…

Because humans are omnivores (meaning we can, and need to, eat a variety of foods), adding fish scales to breakfast cereal, sawdust to sausage and vegetables to juice seems to makes sense. However, that doesn’t stop us from imposing our bizarre eating preferences on our precious pets. In fact, corporate jackasses try to make us believe that the vegetables they use as by-products in pet foods are good for the animals! Heck, they even go so far as to say, “Our foods contain only wholesome grains and the finest farm fresh produce”. What the hell does that mean? Do other pet foods contain stale or rotten ‘unwholesome’ grains and produce? They feature eye popping graphics on the packages that proudly portray by-products like peas, carrots and corn, as if they are amazingly good for our four legged family members. Well, I reckon that’s the prick that finally popped the bubble.

By-products in pet food! Folks, give your damn heads a shake. What the hell are you thinking? Don’t buy into the bull droppings being preached as the truth. A lot of you have seen those television commercials where dogs are sitting on tractors, combines, etc, as the company claims that ‘if dogs could harvest the natural goodness of farm fresh produce, they would’. Talk about false advertising! Seriously? When is the last time you saw a Chesapeake retriever standing in a corn field, munching on golden kernel covered cobs? Do you have to fence your garden because your Pekinese is driving you absolutely mad by picking the peas? Are you having problems keeping your chocolate lab from digging up and eating all the carrots in your garden? Does your St. Bernard have you slip off to the store to buy bran to ‘supplement’ his diet? Hell no! Doesn’t the fact that they do not eat vegetables naturally tell you volumes? Hello? Evolution is screaming in our ears… “Pry your bloody heads past your anal sphincters!”.

Seriously folks, we become so complacent in life that we now accept lies as truth. We are being royally ripped off, artificially preserved, and lied to on a daily basis. We are the perfect victims of abuse, because we love and support our abusers. How can we possibly condemn spousal abuse, when we condone societal abuse? Spousal abuse only bruises a family’s hearts and bodies, but societal abuse bruises everyone, and everything. Societal abuse allows us to feel good about the crap that we put into the air, dump into our water, and put into our foods. But the abuse doesn’t stop with us, oh no, we have to screw with the entire planet’s food chain, and we are literally turning the surface of the planet inside out to do it.

The point that I really wanted to make, is that just because someone tells you something is so, does not mean that it’s the truth. Here’s the irony, you’d never buy a ‘Rolex’ for $10.00 from a stranger on the street, yet you’ll rush off to buy 50 pounds of pet food recommended on TV that’s one percent what your animal is genetically designed to eat, and 99% garbage by-products that are totally alien to your animal’s DNA requirements. We say that we love our pets, yet we feed our chickens and cows meat, and our dogs and cats vegetables. We are so deep in denial that not even evolution can shake us out of our phony beliefs. The result of feeding animals unnatural by-products is that today animals are suffering a wide range of diseases and disorders that they probably never would have, had they been fed a ‘proper’ diet. But you know, when all is said and done, I reckon our bizarre behavior toward our pets really makes a heap of sense in a sick kind of way, given that our nature always seems to be to “hurt the ones we love”.

Will’s thoughts prove that everybody has opinions, but he has way more than he should. From dogs that won’t stop barking, to the antics of his spouse, ‘Crazy Lady’, Will’s Thoughts will make you smile.