Will’s Thoughts – Things we have ‘just in case’.
Just in case. Now, who would have thought that three little words could have such an impact on our lives? They can be used as a shield against possible social, economic or physical disaster, or as a horn to announce the arrival of the King and Queen of Hoarding.
I’d like to think we prepare more, but admit we pack in too much stuff, ‘just in case’.
I got to thinking about it when Crazy Lady wanted to find a curling iron bigger than the fuselage on a 747. She knew that she had one, it was just a matter of finding it among the stuff that we had stored away, ‘just in case’. I have no idea why, but she decided it had to be in a box buried in the den’s stairwell. To start, that meant moving twenty odd cans of paints we keep, for inside and outside the house, ‘just in case’. About then, it occurred to her that creepy crawlies live in those places, and it was not long before my name floated up the stairs.
Stepping in and around tall stacks of paint cans, I managed to maneuver myself to where I could find a way to get out of doing anything. Spotting my opportunity, I launched into my ‘efficiency expert’ mode, and snidely remarked that ‘some people’ would use a flashlight, so they did not have to drag all the stuff out. Cringing, as her eyes glowed bright red and claws grew out of her shoes, I heard her growl, “Never mind, I should have known better than to ask…” I wisely went upstairs to fetch the flashlight (and do the happy dance). When I got back, she stood glaring defiantly among stacks of boxes of stuff we keep ‘just in case’, and I realized that I’d stupidly tripped her ‘git ‘er dun’ switch, which set off a need to begin spring cleaning. For some reason, that always starts with me.
The next thing that I know, I’m standing in ‘my’ garage, trying to explain why there are four sets of vice grips, of various sizes and shapes, hanging on pegboard behind my work bench. I easily justified them with, “Why, just in case.” Ivana Know rapidly followed that up with, “Well, what about the four sets of sockets and clicky thingies you have, or a hundred different screwdrivers?” Amazed that she could not grasp the reasons why, I explained, “Well Hon, just in case.” This continued on and on, and for every question she had, I had the same answer. Finally growing bored of toying with such a simple mind, she went on to other, more adult things. But, by now both of my brain cells were fired up, so instead of choosing the path of sanity, I chose the path to loneliness.
Catching Her Highness holding court, I knew that as long as she was on her throne, and had not yet put her signature on parchment regarding a matter, I could safely speak. Opening a door in her bathroom cabinet, I whipped out a box full of hair ties, and I stated, “I suppose you need all of these ‘just in case’?” Mistaking the narrowing of her eyes for failing vision, I found a couple of packages of female first aid pads and held them even closer, as I asked, “And, I suppose all of these are also ‘just in case’?” Somehow, she managed to snarl through firmly clenched teeth, “Yes, just in case.” Well folks, it took a few days, and a whole heap of doing the Dyson (sucking up) before things returned to normal, but I managed to learn a valuable lesson. I now know that when I get an urge to open my yap, not to, ‘just in case’.
Will’s thoughts prove that everybody has opinions, but he has way more than he should. From dogs that won’t stop barking, to the antics of his spouse, ‘Crazy Lady’, Will’s Thoughts will make you smile.