Rules for dogs at Christmas Time.
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time of year. They’ll appear to be more stressed-out than usual, and will appreciate long comforting dog kisses and cuddles when they get home.
2. They’ll come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant when your humans put decorations on you. They seem to derive a special kind of pleasure out of making you look ridiculous by wearing jingle bells and fake antlers.
4. They will bring a large tree into the house, set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem, it’s an important ritual for humans. Here’s a few things you need to know: Don’t pee on the tree. Don’t drink water in the container that holds the tree. Mind your tail when you’re near the tree. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that might smell interesting, or that have your name on them, don’t rip them open. And, most importantly, don’t chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall over to the tree.
5. Your humans may have strangers that visit during this season. Not all strangers appreciate kisses. Don’t eat off the table. Beg subtly. Be pleasant, even if strangers take your spot on the sofa. Don’t drink out of glasses that are left within your reach (unless, of course, you can get away with it).
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Your manners will be important: Remember, the tree rules also apply to other people’s homes. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house. Be nice to their kiddies and turn on your charm big time.
7. And, a big man with a white beard, and a very loud laugh, will pop out of your fireplace in the middle of the night on the 25th. Do Not Bite Him!