The Northern Star Magazine Online

Mind Blowing Stuff To Read
Menu
  • Home
  • Humor
  • WTF
  • Animals
  • Ron’s Rambles
  • Games/Sports
  • Will’s Thoughts
  • Beauty
  • Inspirational
  • Misc
  • Entertainment
  • Val’s Life Views
  • True or False
  • Lifestyles
  • Tech
  • Health
Home
Movie Reviews And Critiques
Watching Bird Box Is Like Having Sex That Ends Before It Should

Watching Bird Box Is Like Having Sex That Ends Before It Should

Bird Box Starring Sandra Bullock

Recently, after a great deal of positive hype, I watched a movie called “Bird Box”, starring Sandra Bullock, Trevante Rhodes, and John Malkovich. The movie was based on the book by author Josh Malerman, who’s also a singer in the rock band “The High Strung”. This 2018 American post-apocalyptic thriller film was directed by Susanne Bier, and was adapted to screen by writer Eric Heisserer.
Bird Box Movie Review Floating Down River Blind Folded
The gist of the story is that when an entity, or entities unknown, suddenly appears and is seen, people have some really interesting reactions. Sandra Bullock’s character is a smart and tough former farm girl who takes crap from no one. A woman who must protect her child and another from seeing the danger, as she makes her way to a sanctuary far away in a forest along a wild and dangerous river, all while blindfolded.

Bird Box Movie Review 3 Birds

Outstanding Performances By Bullock, Rhodes and Malkovich

Bullock, Rhodes and Malkovich delivered outstanding performances (actually the cinematography and acting by the whole cast was nothing short of brilliant); and Beir did an absolutely stellar job of directing a movie that I felt was best suited for the cutting room floor. Having not read the book Bird Box, I was left with the sincere hope that the novel was much, much better. I liken the experience of watching this film to having much anticipated sex that ends before it should and/or in a way that it shouldn’t.

Bird Box Movie Review Monsters

I Want My Time Back

Despite the hype about the film’s horrifying story line, the only thing really horrific was the end product. Bird Box is a classic example of a story best left as a story and proves that in spite of all the advances of knowledge, aids and technology in the world of film, it’s still very possible to spend many millions of dollars to create something worth less than worthless.

Bird Box Big Letdown

In summation; I want my time back. I feel more ripped off than a kid who forfeited their whole allowance to see a fake alien in a sideshow. In my opinion, Bird Box has all the elements of a good election campaign: it leads people to believe in things unseen and unknown, to hope that things get better, but instead they get worse, leaving folks feeling like a real piece of crap.

Bird Box Movie Review Suicide

Fire The Dough Heads Responsible

My advice to the studio is to fire the dough heads responsible and to wake the heck up to the fact that the best movies ever made, were not made to showcase talent, but rather use talent to showcase the script. Bird Box is a show that promises much, but provides little more than good actors acting out a substanceless story that delivers all of the excitement and titillation of a cheap Viagra placebo.

I give this film 5 boos.

Official Bird Box Trailer

Movie Review By: W. Lewis, Publisher of The Northern Star

Prev Article
Next Article

Related Articles

inside out movie
By Clifford T. Hofferd (Spoilers) Inside Out is a 2015 …
Cathie

Inside Out | A Movie Review By Clifford T. Hofferd

picture of Grace Slick and a poster for the song white rabbit
Don’t stop chasing that tale’s elusive tail. We dive down …
William

The Story Of The Song White Rabbit

About The Author

Cathie

Stand Beside or Stand Aside T-Shirt

Dang Woman!

DANG WOMAN! a hilarious guide to unsuccessfully outwitting a woman :-)small dang woman ad Available in paperback and E-book

Check Out These Great Stories Too!

  • English Is A Hard Language To Learn Part 3English Is A Hard Language To Learn Part 3
  • Animals That Do Not Want To Go To The VetAnimals That Do Not Want To Go To The Vet
  • Are Curiosity, Thinking And Silence On Thin Ice? | By Ron MurdockAre Curiosity, Thinking And Silence On Thin Ice? | By Ron Murdock
  • Shadow Theatre Group | You Will Not Believe Your EyesShadow Theatre Group | You Will Not Believe Your Eyes
  • Passing The Torch | When Do Offspring Become Accountable?Passing The Torch | When Do Offspring Become Accountable?
  • Incredible Shrinky Dinks  | Not What You ThinkIncredible Shrinky Dinks | Not What You Think
  • Hitchhiking Across Western Canada Part 2 | By Ron MurdockHitchhiking Across Western Canada Part 2 | By Ron Murdock
  • Will’s Thoughts | Cold Spells Can Fire Up MemoriesWill’s Thoughts | Cold Spells Can Fire Up Memories
  • Mental Wandering And Random Thoughts Part 10Mental Wandering And Random Thoughts Part 10
  • Carpenter Nails The ProblemCarpenter Nails The Problem

You Might Also Like

  • True or False? A Man Was Killed By Flying 200-Pound Fire Hydrant
  • Gabriel And The Frightened Little Boy
  • True Or False? Baby Cages Were Once Hung Outside Apartment Windows
  • Cobra Dies From Multiple Manbites
  • Prevent Online Security Threats To Your Business

The Northern Star Magazine Online

Mind Blowing Stuff To Read
Copyright © 2025 The Northern Star Magazine Online
Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy