Internet Scam Involving The G Freight Company and David Marvel

Playing A Scammer Involving G Freight Company, David Marvel And The Ordering Of Organic Bumpy Walled Banners For Blue Walls

We received an unusual email from “David”,  wanting to buy some banners. A while ago, when I was surfing the net, I came across a website where they had fun with scammers. So, when I saw the email from David, I thought to myself, “Well, I wonder just how far I can go with this guy?”. I enlisted the help of my good friend Elta, who is just as crazy as I am, and started the adventure.

To give you a heads up, the way this scam is suppose to work is, “David” orders banners, but wants us to pay the shipping company of his choice, and then he will pay us for the shipping and the order. He claims the shipping company will pick up the order too! Now if I had fallen for this, I would have sent the “Shipping Company” money, but then of course they would never come to pick up the order, and “David” of course would not have sent us the money for shipping and the order.

Needless to say, although this is a very long post, I do think you will enjoy it. There were times when I tried to read some of the emails to Will, but I was laughing so hard I couldn’t talk.

I used Pecker’s name ( Our squirrel friend)….. I hope you enjoy 🙂

David = blue
Crazy Lady & Elta = black
“Shipping Company” = red
I have also bolded some of the “important” parts!

 

From: david marvel
davidmarvel11@gmail.com
Date: January-24-12 4:15 AM
To: undisclosed-recipients:;

Hello,
Am Mr David Marvel and i will like to order banners from your company,can i have their prices in range and the method of payment you do accept,I wish to start business with your good company so i look forward for your valued reply ASAP.

Have a nice day !

Best Regards
David Marvel

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Sat, Jan 28, 2012 at 4:26 PM
To: davidmarvel11@gmail.com

Hello David,

Your email regarding pricing and information on banners was forwarded to me as I am the manufacturer, supplier and spinner of all banners in Canada. Our prices for banners depend on the size of banner you would like to purchase, as well as where you will be placing the banner. Banners against blue walls are slightly more expensive than ones against white walls. It all has to do with the type of dye we must use to have them stand out against the wall. Also, if banners are going against a wall, will they be flat walls, or bumpy walls? Banners for bumpy walls are harder to manufacture, so they cost a little more than flat walled banners.

Flat walled banners for blue walls range in price from $350.00 (USD) to $18,999 (USD) each depending on the size of the banner you would like.

Flat walled banners for white walls range in price from $250.00 (USD) to $15,999(USD) each depending  on the size of the banner you would like.

Bumpy walled banners for blue walls range in price from $850.00 (USD) to $28,999 (USD) each depending on the size of the banner you would like.

Bumpy walled banners for white walls range in price from $650.00 (USD) to $25,999 (USD) each depending on the size of the banner you would like.

Now if you order 2000 or more banners at a time, we can give you a 10% discount.  As to method of payment, we accept all major and minor credit cards, but if paying with a minor credit card we will need photo ID (photo ID must be taken with a green background and you must wear a yellow shirt with no more than 2 shirt buttons undone).

Please let me know how you’d like to proceed.

Thank you,
Pecker Lewis

 

From: david marvel
Date: Mon, Jan 30, 2012 at 2:53 PM
To: Pecker Lewis

I want the Bumpy walled banners for blue walls range with the size 3’x8′ 13oz,can i have the price?

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Wed, Feb 1, 2012 at 2:25 PM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you, I had to go across the street to our warehouse to check what banners we have in stock. So, I have checked our inventory for the 3’x8′ 13oz Bumpy walled banners for blue walls and we seem to
be out of that size right now.

What I can offer you are the Bumpy walled banners for blue walls in size 4′ x 36′, 4oz. I know that is a little larger than what you wanted, but I talked to Mr. Cutter from our Scissor Department, down the road, and he assured me that if you really need them to be 8′, that we can also sell you a pair of Plastic Gold Plated Scissors for you to cut the banner to the exact size you need. I asked Mr. Cutter if he would be able to give you a deal on the Plastic Gold Plated Scissors, soon as it is not your fault that we do not have the exact sized Bumpy walled banner for blue walls that you want.

The price for a pair of Plastic Gold Plated Sizzors is $299.00 (USD), but I am very happy to tell you that Mr. Cutter is willing to give you 50% off the regular price. It will only cost you $149.50 (USD). That is a great savings for you David!

I will quote you the prices for the organic and non organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls. Please note that organic Bumpy walled banners are made from special silk threads, spun from Grey Squirrel Cow Dung. The Grey Squirrel Cow’s are feed only a diet of French Strawberry Peanuts, flown in from France, once a week. The dung from the Strawberry Peanuts, give the Bumpy walled banners, just the right flow to hang nicely on bumpy walls.

Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls in size 4’x36′ 4oz – $9999.00 (USD)

Non Organic Bumpy walled banner for blue walls in size 4’x36′ 4oz – $7999.00 (USD)

We also have a special on our Winter Yellow Snow Spray. Mr. Marvel I highly recommend you also buy some of our Winter Yellow Snow Spray. This is special spray to help protect your banner from the elements. It is made from only the highest quality of yellow snow. One bottle will coat one 4′ x 36′ Bumpy walled banner for blue walls, and it is only $399.99 (USD) per bottle.

Before I can quote you a price I need to know if you want the Orangic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls in size 4’x36′ 4oz or the Non Organic Bumpy walled banner for blue walls in size 4’x36′ 4oz. How many Plastic Gold Plated Scissors you would like to buy. Mr. Cutter said if you order 100 he will give you 1 for FREE! How can you beat that?
Do you want to buy the Winter Yellow Snow Spray? If so, how many?

Thank you David,

I look forward to hearing back from you.
Pecker Lewis

 

From: david marvel
Date: Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 12:21 PM
To: Pecker Lewis

Hello Pecker,
thanks for the mail i really do appreciate that,i want the Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls in size 4’x36′ 4oz and i am shipping this to a client who is in Norway through this delivery address below:

James & Jane Company Ltd.
722 Nostegt. 72,
Bergen, Norway, N-5011

with the shipping i do know of a freight company that can pick up this unit from your location and ship it to the delivery location and their shipping rates are very affordable and they do door to door delivery in Norway and this their contact below:

NAME; G freight company
EMAIL: g_freight@email.com

i will like you to email them and get back to me with the total cost including shipping and get back to me so that i provide you my credit card card details for payment,thank you and hope to hear from you soon.

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 2:06 PM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

Before I contact G freight company, I have to figure out the total weight of your order.  You did not mention wanting to order any Winter Yellow Snow Spray or Plastic Gold Plated Scissors.  You also did not mention how many Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls in size 4’x36′ 4oz that you wanted to order.

To make this easier for you, I will just assume that you want:

50 Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls in size 4’x36′ 4oz
100 Plastic Gold Plated Scissors – Remember ordering 100 gets you 1 Plastic Gold Plated Scissor FREE!
50 Winter Yellow Snow Spray – one for each Bumpy walled banner

David, you will need nails to hang your banners with, and you are in luck because just last year we opened up an Elta Nail Department in our warehouse. Unfortunately though, the CEO of Elta Nails, Mr. Brad, is on vacation right now, somewhere on a cruise ship. He was due to return last week, but must be having such a good time, that no one has heard from him since he was around the Greecian Islands.

You are in luck though, because before Mr. Brad left for his vacation, he wanted to get a tan, so I accompanied him to the tanning studio. I tell you though, David, talking nails with a butt naked tanning man was a little weird. But we did have a great talk about nails, and he authorized me to take over the Elta Nail Department while he is gone. Good thing too David, soon as we have no idea when hewill contact us.

Elta Nails are our number 1 seller, and can be rather pricey, especially if purchased for the Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls. Unfortunately though, they don’t work as efficient if covered by the Winter Yellow Snow Spray! So, I suggest you purchase the cheaper ones, but you will need to purchase 3x as many, since the cheaper one’s only hold a certain amount of weight. I will just add how many nails I think you will need to your order David.

Would you like your order wrapped in paper, plastic, or bubble wrap for shipping? My recommendation, David, is that you go with Bubble Wrap. Trust me, your clients, James & Jane Company Ltd., will thank you for all the bubble wrap that they will get to play with after they are finished hanging their banners! The price of air to fill the bubbles is extra. Also, for such a large order, we will have to hire 10 more monkeys to blow air into each bubble in the bubble wrap. Do not worry though David, we have received permission from the SPCA and no monkeys are ever harmed while blowing air into each bubble in the bubble wrap.

So before I contact G freight company for shipping costs, please review and confirm your order.

50 Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls in size 4’x36′ 4oz – 50 x $9,999.00 = $499,950.00
100 Plastic Gold Plated Scissors 100 x $149.50 = $14,950.00
50 Winter Yellow Snow Spray 50 x $399.99 = $19,999.50
2500 Elta Nails – $5.00 x $2500.00 = $12,500.00
250 meters of Bubble Wrap – $1,500.00
10 Monkeys – 10 x $100.00 = $1000.00
42 lbs of Air – $3699.50

Calculation fees – $1,000.00 – David those were some big numbers to add up, and I had to recruit 20 other people, because I only have 10 fingers and 10 toes.

TOTAL ORDER – $556,599
TOTAL WEIGHT – 8000 lbs

Mr. Marvel, I will wait for your confirmation on this order before I contact the shipping company.

Thank you,

Pecker Lewis

 

From: david marvel
Date: Fri, Feb 3, 2012 at 11:01 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Thank you and kindly go ahead and email the G freight company so that we can proceed with the order.I want the 50 Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls.

 

Pecker Lewis
Date: Fri, Feb 3, 2012 at 2:48 PM
To: g_freight@email.com

Hello,

I am writing to you in regards to shipping costs. Mr David Marvel has highly recommended your company. Mr. Marvel’s order will be wrapped in bubble wrap and will weigh approximately 8000 pounds.

Please advise me on how you will be shipping this order to Mr. Marvel’s customer in Bergen, Norway. Will it be traveling by truck, or will you be putting it on a cruise ship? I’m a little worried, if it will travel by cruise ship, that the order might get wet. If this is the case, we will have to spray the bubble wrap with Water Repellent Bee Urine. This is very special spray and quite costly, as it is very difficult to collect bee urine. I hope your company does not have a problem paying this extra cost, or would you rather I add it to Mr. Marvel’s bill.

Thank you,
I look forward to your reply.

Pecker Lewis

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Fri, Feb 3, 2012 at 2:53 PM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

Just to let you know I have sent an email to the shipping company to request a quote. I was a little concerned about how they would be shipping your order. If by cruise ship, we will have to spray the bubble wrap with Water Repellent Bee Urine. I have asked the shipping company to pay for this extra charge, but if they won’t, then you will have to pay it.

It will be about $3,999.00 extra for the Water Repellent Bee Urine. I hope this additional cost will not be a problem. Once I hear back from the shipping company I will contact you.

Thank you,

Pecker Lewis

 

From: david marvel
Date: Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 2:11 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Hello Pecker
Thank you for the mail.For additional cost i will wait till i know the shipping quote first,the total cost for my order without shipping is $9999.00 right.Advise

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 9:45 AM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

There seems to be some confusion. You want to order 50 Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls. Each banner cost $9999.00. Just for the banners the cost is $499,950.00. Then you will need the following as well:

Plastic Gold Plated Scissors
Winter Yellow Snow Spray
Elta Nails
Bubble Wrap
10 Monkeys
42 lbs of Air

Then there is the $1000.00 for Calculation Fees.

Why are you only mentioning the banners? I went to a lot of work to get you the other supplies as well. Please do not tell me I have wasted my time! I’ve already bought plane tickets for the 10 monkeys that I need to hire to blow air into the bubble wrap. David, it is not easy to get monkeys to come to Canada! They will be arriving from Africa on Thursday. Plus, because we have not had that much snow this year, and the fact that Canada now has a limit on how many dogs a person can own, well manufacturing Winter Yellow Snow Spray is quite difficult now. You need to buy it while we still have it in stock!

The total cost for your order, without shipping is $556,599.

Please advise if you are going to continue with your order.

Thank you,

Pecker

 

From: david marvel
Date: Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 3:26 PM
To: Pecker Lewis

I want to proceed with the order and you have waste your time Mr.I want order one banner for the moment,I will order more so kindly re email the shipping company and lets them now.So one banner will cost me $9999.00.Thank you for your time

 

From: sam cooke
Date: Tue, Feb 7, 2012 at 12:51 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

G FREIGHT SHIPPING COMPANY QUOTATION

Thank you for making the choice to choose G Freight Shipping’s.We welcome you to a whole new shipping experience. With G Freight nothing is too big or small. we are always at your services.In other for us to provide you with the exact shipping quote,we will require the pick up address and delivery address.For the additional cost we are sorry but your costumer should take care of that.Thank you and we are looking forward to serve you better.

Sam Cooke

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Tue, Feb 7, 2012 at 6:11 PM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

I’m sorry, but we can not accept orders for only one banner. Each order is custom made, so you must order a minimum of 20 banner. We also care about the well being of our banners, they are like part of our family, and insist that clients also buy the Winter Yellow Snow Spray to protect the banners from the elements. This is our policy. This is not an option, it is a must! If you do not purchase the Winter Yellow Snow Spray, then I can not do business with you! If you are not wanted to have your client pay for the shipping of the Winter Yellow Snow Spray, we would be happy to spray all the banners before we wrap them in bubble wrap. This will only cost an additional $999.00 per banner ordered. And before you think that is expensive, let me tell you, that is a bargain! Each banner must be sprayed twice. So we spray, rinse, then repeat. Think of it as washing your hair. Minus the cream rinse.

G Freight did email me back, but they did not supply a quote yet. I will not bother the good people at G Freight again until I have your commitment to purchase at least 20 Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls and 20 bottles of Winter Yellow Snow Spray.

I await your reply.

Pecker

 

From: david marvel
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 5:08 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

What will be the total of cost of 20 banners?

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 9:09 AM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

20 Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls would be $199,980.

I talked to my manager and he said that we can give provide you with 20 bottles of Winter Yellow Snow Spray, but your client will have to spray the banners. We will send instructions on how to safely use Winter Yellow Snow Spray.

Thank you,

Pecker

 

From: david marvel
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 10:23 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Okay i want purchase 20 pieces so kindly email the G freight company and get back to me with the shipping quote so that i can make payment of the charges.Thank you Pecker

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 12:52 PM
To: sam cooke

Hello Sam

Mr. Marvel’s total order will be 3000lbs. It will be wrapped in bubble wrap.

Now do you prefer that we use Oganic Bubble Wrap, or will the Paper Bubble Wrap be ok?

It is being shipped from Canada.

Our address is:
453 Sesame Street
British Columbia,
Canada

We are easy to find, as we are located between Oscar’s Trash Can Company and Big Bird’s Nesting Materials.

The order is being shipped to:

James & Jane Company Ltd.
722 Nostegt. 72,
Bergen, Norway, N-5011

Please advise us of shipping costs so that we can advise our customer Mr. Marvel of this.

Thank you,
Pecker Lewis

 

From: sam cooke
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 2:49 PM
To: Pecker Lewis

DATE 08/02/2012
QUOTATION #SP115
Quotation for:Pecker Lewis
Quotation Valid Until: 22/02/2012
Quantity Of goods;………..
Dimensions;………..
Total Weight:3000lbs

Dear valued customer,International Air Shipping of the above goods and dimension from 1453 Sesame Street British Columbia, Canada to James & Jane Company Ltd. 722 Nostegt. 72, Bergen, Norway, N-5011.

Is below: We came out with a total cost $10,153.50 price breakdown,are as follows:

Air Shipping: $6989.20
Pick Up: $990.10
Taxes: $350.11
Handling: $666.09
Custom Duties: $1158.00
Shipment Total: $10,153.50

Prices Include Taxes and Duties. We appreciate this opportunity to offer our quotation for the above shipment. Please note that all pricing is based on current tariff(s) and the cargo specifications as noted and is subject to change based on current tariff(s) and the cargo specifications. The above rate is valid for 14 days and is not a guarantee of service.It takes approximately 3-6 day’s for deliverywhen picked up. We look forward to serving you to your fullest Satisfaction.The item can be wrapped with the Paper Bubble Wrap.

Thank you.

Best Regards

Customer Service
Sam Cooke

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 4:27 PM
To: sam cooke

Thank you for the quote. I will email my client and let him know, then I will be in touch with you again. I hope to have the order ready by 22/02/2012, it will all depend on how fast China can ship the Monkeys over. I ordered Monkeys for the Plastic Bubble Wrap. Now I have to cancel that and order new Monkeys. Should not be a problem though!

Thank you,
Pecker Lewis

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 4:51 PM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

G FREIGHT SHIPPING COMPANY has quoted the shipping at $10,153.50. The following is a break down of the shipping costs:

Air Shipping: $6989.20
Pick Up: $990.10
Taxes: $350.11
Handling: $666.09
Custom Duties: $1158.00
Shipment Total: $10,153.50

I see they are going to charge you $990.10 for pick up! That is expensive. I know a guy who knows a guy that has a cousin who knows a guy that will pick up your order, and deliver it to G Freight Shipping for $50.00 and a case of beer. He likes Budwiser. That my friend will save you about $920.10 on your shipping. Do you want me to give Bubba a call and see if he is available? Oh wait. This quote is good till 22/02/2012. David we have a problem!

The shipping company has requested that the order be wrapped in Paper Bubble Wrap. With Organic Paper Bubble Wrap, we are getting into a whole new area. I had ordered 10 Brown Monkeys to blow air into the bubbles in the bubble wrap, but that was for plastic bubble wrap. Paper Bubble Wrap is special and these monkeys can not do the job. Now I am going to have to locate the rare, and special breed of ORIGAMI Paper Folding Monkeys! These monkeys are so rare to find, and they are only in China and hide out in the Lotus plants! I am now going to have to hire a Registered/Certified Origami Monkey Breeder to capture 10, and fly them to Canada. This will cost an additional $5000.00.

Is your client willing to pay the extra money?

Thank you,

Pecker Lewis

 

From: david marvel
Date: Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 7:27 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Hello Pecker
Thank you for the mail.I will like you to get back to me with the grand total price including shipping and additional cost so that i can render my credit card details as payment of the charges.Thank you

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 8:38 AM
To: david marvel

Hello David,

Your total for products is $204,980.00
Your total for G FREIGHT SHIPPING COMPANY is $10,153.50

Break Down:
20 Organic Bumpy walled banners for blue walls: $199,980
Registered/Certified Origami Monkey Breeder: $5000.00
TOTAL: $204,980.00

G FREIGHT SHIPPING COMPANY: $10,153.50

SHIPMENT & PRODUCT ORDER: $215,133.50

We can have your order ready by 20/02/2012. That gives you enough time to contact G FREIGHT SHIPPING COMPANY and pre pay for the shipping charges.

Please email G FREIGHT SHIPPING COMPANY to arrange your payment for shipping by 18/02/2012. Then get back to us with confirmation number that shipping has been paid by your company.

Thank you,

Pecker Lewis

 

From: davidmarvel
Date: Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 9:02 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Pecker
I will like to make all payment to you so that you will prepaid the shipping company on my behalf.Advise so that i can make payment.

 

From: david marvel
Date: Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 11:42 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Still waiting for your email Mr Pecker 

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Thu, Feb 9, 2012 at 6:09 PM
To: david marvel

Hi David,
Sorry I did not reply sooner. I did not realize that you wanted us to pre pay the shipping for you, so I had to talk to my boss about this. Of course I had to sit there and listen to 4 hours of him talk about the ovarian cyst that he had to have surgery for last year. David have you ever had an ovarian cyst? Sounds rather painful! Anyway….

I will have to transfer your order down to the Pre-Paid Shipping Dept. in Likeawanna DDcup, Canada. Due to numerous scam artists, the Pre-Paid Shipping Department oversees all the accounts that request shipping be paid on their behalf. For an order of this amount, and the price of shipping requested from the G freight Shipping Company, I can only guess on my part that the request will be denied by our Pre-Paid Shipping Dept.

We do however, have a Department of Loans, where I would gladly forward your order for loan processing if you wish. Our loan fees are 35%, require a copy of your DL, passport, a copy of your mortgage papers, title to all your vehicles and of course your first born child. The interest is compounded daily on the balance. The loans must be repaid within 30 days, however for an additional fee of 150% of the daily balance, we will give an extension of an additional 30 days.

We take our company here very seriously, and take pride in the satisfaction of all customers.

Thank you,
Pecker Lewis

 

From: david marvel
Date: Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 12:50 PM
To: Pecker Lewis

Pecker
Sorry about your boss.The you for the idea but is going to take time so why not let me make full payment to you whiles you pay the G freight company.There is nothing like scam here so when replying me,reply with your phone number.Thank you advise if you are ready to take payment for the charges.

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 1:31 PM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

Thank you for your kind words about my Boss.

I took the order and shipping bill over to the Pre-Paid Shipping Department, and they noticed a mistake on the bill. Oh David, I forgot about the “LEAP YEAR TAX”! That tax has to be added on every 4 years when the Leap Year hits the calendar. Geez, with all we have had on our minds, how could I have forgotten that tax? The Leap Year Tax is calculated by adding the past 4 years 365 X 4 = $1460 minus the special deduction of conceiving during a Leap Year, (this tax is only added to those who have children. 1 child = $50.00, 2nd child = $150.00, 3rd child = $300.00, 4th child (and any additional children) $1,000. We need to know if you or your clients have kids now. Are you married with children? Or are you single with children?

I did wonder why you have the last name of Marvel. Are you related to the Captain Marvel Comic Book Characters? If so, well, then that puts you in a complete different TAX bracket! You would then be taxed as a cartoon/fictitious character, such as the Incredible Hulk. Hmmmm.. That made me think on that one. David BANNER??? The Incredible Hulk….David Marvel……(Captain MARVELS kid who wants to buy BANNERS?) Is there a connection here David? Do I need to contact the TransContinental Fictional Super Hero’s Task Force for Investigational Purposes, to find out if you really are related to The Incredible Hulk?

Please advise so we can finalize your total bill and pay the shipping company,

Thank you,
Pecker Lewis

 

From: david marvel

Date: Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 1:47 PM
To: Pecker Lewis

Pecker
Forget about all that and can get to me with your phone number and the total cost so that

i can make payment.Am not related with anyone please.

 

From: sam cooke
Date: Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 2:04 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Dear Costumer
We will like to know wether you are still interested in our services so that we can have you order in our system.Thank you and we looking forward to serve you to your full satisfaction.

Sam Cooke

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 10:19 AM
To: sam cooke

Hello Sam,

Yes we are still interested in your services.
Your quote says it is good till 22/02/2012.
It is only 13/02/2012.

We have to get the order ready and then we will contact you when we are ready to ship it.

Thank you,
Pecker Lewis

 

From: david marvel
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 1:31 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Do you want us to proceed with the order or cancel it?

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Sun, Feb 19, 2012 at 10:12 AM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

We are working hard to get your order ready. The Monkeys arrived Friday, but they do not work Saturdays or Sundays. They will start working on Monday to get the bubble wrap ready to wrap your order for shipping for Feb. 25, 2012. Please email me with your Payment details so that we can get the shipping company paid. I can not give you my phone number. Our phone service here is not very good, and we only have Room to Room incoming and outgoing phone service.

Thank you for your patience,

Pecker

 

From: david marvel
Date: Mon, Feb 20, 2012 at 10:53 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Pecker
Thank you for the update.I will provide you with my credit card details shortly.

 

From: david marvel
Date: Tue, Feb 21, 2012 at 3:55 PM
To: Pecker Lewis

Hello Pecker
I wasn’t able to make payment due to the fact that i cant found my credit card and i am on business.I will like to know whether you can go head and make payment with the shippers, I will send you your money back immediately i return from business trip via Western Union.Thank you and advise

 

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Thu, Feb 23, 2012 at 9:24 AM
To: david marvel

Hi David,

Sorry to hear that you have lost your Credit Card. I lost my Credit Card once, and you would not believe where I found it. We had a large order for 68 Organic Green Flat Walled Banners For Pink Walls. We had to hire 23 green eyed people for this order, as you can not have blue eyed people working on Organic Green Banners. Anyway David, I went to the bathroom on a Tuesday, I think it was about 10:00am, and wouldn’t you know, my credit card fell out of my wallet when I was paying the bathroom dude. Do you have bathroom dudes there David? Don’t know what we would do without our bathroom dudes here. They are great.

Have you looked everywhere for your Credit Card? Try calling the sewer people. Maybe your credit card fell in the toilet too, and is on its way to the ocean via the sewers. If they have not seen it, I would get a hold of all the captains of ships and ask them to keep an eye out for your credit card floating around in the ocean somewhere. Anyway, I talked to my boss, and he said we can not pay the shipping charges unless you give us a Credit Card. But do not worry David!!!!

I, Pecker Lewis, will be happy to pay the shipping company for you from my own personal account. I feel like you are my long lost brother David. I feel so close to you. I actually think I love you. And don’t get all weird on me now. I do not love you like I love my dog. I love you like a brother, man. Do you feel the same way about me?

Now I will ONLY pay for your shipping out of my personal money if you will consider me your Brother From Another Mother. I would not do this for a stranger, only for family….

David is that ok with you? Please refer to me now as “Pecker, My Brother From Another Mother” and I will refer to you as “David, My Brother From Another Mother”.

Thank you so much David for trusting me with the shipping charges for your order. My boss says the order should be ready Friday. Once the order is ready I will contact the shipping company and make arrangements for payment and pick up.

Love,
Pecker, Your Brother From Another Mother

 

From: david marvel
Date: Thu, Feb 23, 2012 at 10:21 AM
To: Pecker Lewis

Hello Pecker
Thank you for the mail and i have search every where possible but i cant found my credit card.I really appreciate your help in wanting to make payment with the freight company with your personal money brother.I promise to compensate you and i will forever remain grateful to you. As soon i return from my business. I will pay you your money first and then invite you for lunch so that you will meet my family. I cant believe people like still exist in the world. I consider you has a brother,friend and family as well. Thank you and be safe. Keep me update

From: Pecker Lewis
Date: Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:47:46
To: david marvel

Dear Sweet David, My Brother From Another Mother,

I have very bad news, but you will be so happy to know that I am still alive and have made it through the chaos! Oh David, My Brother From Another Mother, it was terrible! And the worst part is we will be unable to fill your order right now!

The monkeys accidentally got loose in the warehouse, got a hold of the Winter Yellow Snow Spray and the Plastic Gold Plated Scissors, glued all the nails to the bubble wrap, and tore the banners to shreds! David, My Brother From Another Mother, I am now stuck with 10 monkeys all with mullet haircuts…… and an entire warehouse in chaos!

My boss came in, and told me I now have to lay off all my employees, close my business, ALL because of the your order. Thank David, My Brother From Another Mother, for ruining the ECONOMY here in Canada, and making all my employees homeless, and the worst part, now I can’t return the monkeys for a refund!

It’s a shame the monkeys got so angry and trashed the entire warehouse. It’s hard finding good monkey employee’s these days! Usually the only one’s who want to take the job of paper folding, have a bad case of arthritis, and they end up making a lot of mistakes, which cost more money when you have to order new rolls of organic paper bubble wrap. Those younger Origami Monkeys are the worst spoiled little brats…….they expect the ‘special banana’s without bruises’.

I just don’t know what I am going to do now David, My Brother From Another Mother. I don’t know what I am going to do with all these monkeys! Those monkeys won’t be able to work since I don’t have enough Origami Paper Bubble Wrap now to keep them employed until 2014, and when Origami Monkeys are unemployed, they aren’t very happy!

However, not is all lost David, My Brother From Another Mother. I have GREAT news.

Easter is coming, so, if you like I can send you our Easter Catalog. We have beautiful Easter Pastel Bumpy Walled Organic Eggwashed Banners in Light Pink, but you would have to order them right away, because they go the quickest at Easter. Oh and you will also need the Hare Of The Rabbit Repellent Spray for them, to keep the eggwash from running.

Oh, David, My Brother From Another Mother, I am so happy that you are part of my family now.

Please advise me on how you would like to proceed.

Love,
Pecker, Your Brother From Another Mother

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

 

From: david marvel
Sat, 25 Feb 2012 14:15:37
To: Pecker Lewis

Am so sorry to hear what happened my brother.I s there any way that i can help you out my brother.