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Décor Diva | By Betty Mermelstein

Décor Diva | By Betty Mermelstein

I pulled, tires screaming, into the parking lot of my destination.  It had become my new Saturday morning pacifier.  My comfort zone for décor and room organization:  the second hand shop downtown.  I ran into the store, fueled by my white wall guilt brought on by hours of watching HGTV.  The clerk smiled broadly as she saw me enter.

“Excuse me,” I asked wild eyed.  “Did you get in any faux neo-Grecian sconces?”

“No, but there’s a new crop of plaster bas-relief rooster wall plaques.”

I aimed for the second room on the right, surveying the contents with one fell swoop of my eyes.  The green patina two-tiered bath shelf, the framed lithograph of the shaggy Highland cattle, and the horned toad brass door stop would be mine.

I clutched my purchases as if they were Mexican discount prescriptions and headed off to my friend’s house.  Nice of her to invite me to lunch since I don’t get many invitations lately.   Jean is one who hasn’t called since I told her that her junipers sculpted to resemble giraffes really wrecked her curb appeal.

“Hi, Sophie,” I chirped as I entered her house. “You know, a hint of red would really accent this living room.”

I detected a scowl on Sophie’s face.  Probably her displeasure with the entry-way rug she picked out.

“Here,” I said, extending my arm with my thank-you-for-lunch gift in hand.  “It’s  a hand-painted wooden sign that says bread in French.  See, it says “pain”: bread!  I thought you needed it for your kitchen.  I couldn’t resist.”

Sophie sighed and took the sign.  Lunch went well, though she did say she and Bert wouldn’t be coming to our holiday party this year.

I came home to find my husband in his office.  I turned on HGTV and called to him, “Wait until you see what I bought today!  Why did you just shut your door?”

“Oh, now stop playing around,” I chuckled, jiggling the handle.  He finally relented and unlocked the door.  I looked around the room and was aghast at his lack of spatial appreciation.

“You didn’t move your desk closer to the wall to eliminate that wasted space,”  I squeaked.   “I told you we can build a four-tiered bookcase for you out of that old out house sitting behind our property in the woods, and a nice warm color on the walls will give this room that cozy office feeling.”

I detected a groaning sound coming from my husband.

“You didn’t eat at that hot dog place again, did you?” I asked, hands on hips.

With that, he stood, pointed at the papers on his desk, and then pointed at the door.

I flounced out, reminding him that baskets stuck in shelving would keep him organized.

Retiring to my kitchen, I shook my head as I drove in the nails for my bas-relief plaster roosters.  “Some people have no taste,” I muttered.


Betty Mermelstein has written and published various works, including poems, humorous personal narratives, fiction, and nonfiction articles. Find her books Jib And Spinnaker: Sailors Of The Low Seas, A School Year Of Caring, A Spirited Inheritance and Seven For Reflection on Amazon.

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