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Random Jokes | Questions | Quotes | Part 14

Random Jokes | Questions | Quotes | Part 14

»  A golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course, and asks the golf pro if they sell ball markers. The golf pro says, “Sure we do, and they are just $1.00 each.” The guy says he’ll take one, and gives the golf pro a dollar. The pro rings it up, opens the register, puts the dollar in the tray and with a big smile, hands the guy a quarter.

»  “I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn’t poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. Oh, not deprived, but rather underprivileged. Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still didn’t have a dime, but, I did have a great vocabulary.” ~ Jules Feiffer, cartoonist

»  In an autocracy, one person has his way. In an aristocracy, a few people have their way. In a democracy, no one has his way. ~ Celia Green, Philosopher

»  At the age of twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us. At the age of thirty, we worry what it’s thinking of us. At the age of forty, we ignore what it’s thinking of us, and by the age of sixty, we discover that it wasn’t thinking of us at all.

»  Household tip: Collect those tough to remove animal hairs, by using dryer fabric softener sheets. They magically attract all the loose hairs!

»  Modern cynics and skeptics see no harm in paying those, to whom they entrust the minds of their children, a smaller wage than is paid to those they entrust the care of their plumbing.

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