Hear Ye One And All!!!
From: God, also known as the Creator, Allah, Waheguru, Bhagwaan, Elohim, Yahweh, Ek Onkar, and so on….
It has recently come to my attention that there’s been an excessive amount of complaining and internal strife going on around the world. The cause appears to be a virulent strain of self-pity that’s rapidly spreading throughout the Earth. To prevent further spread of the pitiful disease, I will now be handling all of your problems. Please remember, I don’t need your help. When life delivers a situation that you can’t handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Put it in the TFGTD (Things for God to do) box. I will address them in my time, not yours. Once the matter’s placed in the box, don’t dwell on it.
Seven Mandatory Rules
Effective Immediately: Compliance with the following seven rules is mandatory:
- When you find yourself stuck in rush hour traffic, don’t despair. Owning a vehicle is an unheard of privilege for billions of people in the world.
- When you have a bad day at work, remember the men and women who are out of work and the hardships that their families face.
- When you’re sad about a relationship gone bad, think about the person who never knew what it’s like to love and to be loved in return.
- When you resent working overtime, think of the women that work twelve hours a day, seven days a week just to try to feed their children.
- When your car breaks down, leaving you miles away from assistance, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
- When you notice a new gray hair in the mirror, think of the 12 year old cancer patient in chemotherapy who wishes that she had hair to examine.
- Should you become the victim of people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember that things could be worse. You could be them!
– cc: all other personnel –