Hear Ye One And All!!!
From: God, also known as the Creator, Allah, Waheguru, Bhagwaan, Elohim, Yahweh, Ek Onkar, and so on….
To: You
It has recently come to my attention that there’s been an excessive amount of complaining and internal strife going on around the world. The cause appears to be a virulent strain of self-pity that’s rapidly spreading throughout the Earth. To prevent further spread of the pitiful disease, I will now be handling all of your problems. Please remember, I don’t need your help. When life delivers a situation that you can’t handle, DO NOT attempt to resolve it. Put it in the TFGTD (Things for God to do) box. I will address them in my time, not yours. Once the matter’s placed in the box, don’t dwell on it.
Seven Mandatory Rules
Effective Immediately: Compliance with the following seven rules is mandatory:
- When you find yourself stuck in rush hour traffic, don’t despair. Owning a vehicle is an unheard of privilege for billions of people in the world.
- When you have a bad day at work, remember the men and women who are out of work and the hardships that their families face.
- When you’re sad about a relationship gone bad, think about the person who never knew what it’s like to love and to be loved in return.
- When you resent working overtime, think of the women that work twelve hours a day, seven days a week just to try to feed their children.
- When your car breaks down, leaving you miles away from assistance, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
- When you notice a new gray hair in the mirror, think of the 12 year old cancer patient in chemotherapy who wishes that she had hair to examine.
- Should you become the victim of people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember that things could be worse. You could be them!
– cc: all other personnel –
