Stop being so serious and read something that will bring a smile to your face, something like:
» When José, who was newly arrived in the U.S., first went to the Yankee Stadium, there were no tickets left for sale. Touched by José’s disappointment, a security guard found him a perch, way up near the American flag. Later that week, José wrote to relatives back in Ecquador about his experience, “The Americans are so friendly! Before the game started, they stood, looked up at me, and sang ‘José, can you see?’ ”
» Healing Throughout The Centuries 2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2012 A.D. – That antibiotic doesn’t work anymore. Here, eat this root.
» A young minister, during his first days at his first parish, has to conduct funeral services for an eccentric man who has just passed away. At the funeral home, he stands before the closed casket and tries to think of words to console the widow. Finally, the minister says, “I know this must be a very hard blow to you, Mrs. Jones, but we must remember that what we see here, is only the husk, the shell. The fruit of the soul, the nut, has gone on to heaven.”
» TV commercials urge consumers to buy incredibly expensive sports shoes, implying that they’ll improve their game. But, basketball star, Charles Barkley, set the record straight by saying, “These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me. They won’t make you rebound like me. They definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.”
» Four students walked in halfway through the history test at the local community college. “Sorry,” one of them said, “we had a flat tire.” An understanding man, the professor said that if they could all answer just one question correctly, he would give them each an “A” on their exams. The students quickly agreed. The professor handed each one of them a piece of paper, had them sit in four separate corners of the class, then said, “Write down which tire was flat.”
» For decades, consumers have reached for the ‘Pink’ relief for upset stomach and gastrointestinal issues, but, did you know it also makes a great facial mask? In fact, rubbing Pepto-Bismal on your skin, then letting it dry, provides a better facial than most peel off masks. And, if you suffer from pimple problems, you’ll simply be blown away by how effective a dab of Pepto will be!
» I think the dilemma of being a thirteen year girl is best summed up by a book I’ve heard about, titled, “I Hate You, And I Wish You Would Die, But First, Can You Drive Me To The Mall?”