Translating Crazy Lady ain’t always easy, but over time, this here is what I have learned:
Translating Crazy Lady Means When:
Crazy Lady Says: You want…
Crazy Lady means: You’re dreaming.
Crazy Lady says: We need…
Crazy Lady means: I want.
Crazy Lady says: It’s your decision…
Crazy Lady means: It’s my decision.
Crazy Lady says: Do what you want…
Crazy Lady means: We’ll put that on your ‘do now, pay later’ tab.
Crazy Lady says: We need to talk…
Crazy Lady means: I need to complain.
Crazy Lady says: Sure… go ahead…
Crazy Lady means: Oh, I dare you.
Crazy Lady says: I’m not upset…
Crazy Lady means: You’re near the point of possible castration.
Crazy Lady says: You’re … so manly…
Crazy Lady means: You smell, look and act like a developmentally challenged ox.
Crazy Lady says: Be romantic, turn out the lights…
Crazy Lady means: Grab yourself a box of Kleenex.
Crazy Lady says: What do you want for dinner?
Crazy Lady means: Make me choose, and I swear ‘dreadful’ won’t begin to describe your meal.
Crazy Lady says: Never mind…
Crazy Lady means: You better mind!
Crazy Lady says: I’m okay…
Crazy Lady means: Twit! Do you think I always hunch over and limp like this?
Crazy Lady says: Hang the picture there…
Crazy Lady means: No, I mean hang it there!
Crazy Lady says: I heard a noise…
Crazy Lady means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
Crazy Lady says: Do you love me?
Crazy Lady means: I have a few chores you will do.
Crazy Lady says: How much do you love me?
Crazy Lady means: I did something today you’re not going to like.
Crazy Lady says: Just let me finish this…
Crazy Lady means: I’m obsessed with this project and continued harassment will result in decapitation.
Crazy Lady says: Does my hair look okay?
Crazy Lady means: Jerk my chain, sweetie pie, and say hello to celibacy.
Crazy Lady says: You have to learn to communicate…
Crazy Lady means: Just do as I tell you to.
Crazy Lady says: Are you listening to me?
Crazy Lady means: Too late, you’re doomed.
Crazy Lady says: Yes…
Crazy Lady means: No.
Crazy Lady says: No…
Crazy Lady means: No.
Crazy Lady says: Maybe…
Crazy Lady means: No.
Crazy Lady says: I’m sorry…
Crazy Lady means: You’ll be sorry.
Crazy Lady says: Do you like this recipe?
Crazy Lady means: I do, so get used to it.
Crazy Lady says: I’m going to the pet store to check prices on catnip…
Crazy Lady means: Rake the cat toys into the corner, Momma’s going shopping!
Crazy Lady says: Did you turn down the heat?
Crazy Lady means: Haul your naked butt to the hallway…nice shrinkage.
Crazy Lady says: I’m not yelling!
Crazy Lady means: I am emphatically communicating my feelings.
In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”
Crazy Lady says: The same old thing…
Crazy Lady means: Leave me alone.
Crazy Lady says: Nothing…
Crazy Lady means: Oh goody, the guessing game.
Crazy Lady says: Nothing, really…
Crazy Lady means: Besides you being an idiot.
Crazy Lady says: I don’t want to talk about it…
Crazy Lady means: Yet.
