gate of Hell

What Is Hell?

Hell is a horrible place. Some believe that it exists. Some don’t. Hell doesn’t care either way. Hell can be a place that’s departed from and/or a place that’s headed to. According to theologists, Hell is a place of eternal punishment that’s biblically described as a ‘lake of fire’.

Scholars surmise that eternally burning alive in a lake of fire was chosen as the worst possible punishment for disobedience, disruption and disagreement at the time of Hell’s emergence into human lore because it was the most devastating force known to man. It wiped out crops, destroyed homes and was a horrifically painful way to perish.

So, the idea of burning to death forever and ever and ever was an absolute ideological fit. And to the delight of the demented and devious, the threat of being sent to Hell by a loving God became a great way of controlling others. Thus the emergence of ‘sin’; an act allegedly contrary to the ‘will of God’, which was and still is whatever the heck the morality of the day declared sin was.

Unthinkable Torturous Terrors Added

Over the centuries ever more terrible and unthinkable torturous terrors were added to Hell’s menu in order to intensify the public’s fear of being sent there by a divine and forgiving deity. Satan (the ruler of Hell), demons (Satan’s servants) and torture (Satan’s sadistic pleasures) were established as Hell’s chain of command and modus operandi. Allegedly, this was necessary to maintain and expand the spiritual enslavement of mankind by the aforementioned demented and devious dastards who exploit human fear.

And to these horrors even more horrors were added for good measure, such as being eaten by worms, having your limbs ripped off and eaten by hellmates, wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

Discrepancies In The Concept Of Hell

However, there are some discrepancies in the concept of Hell that must be acknowledged. First, Satan is portrayed as being both male and the sadistic boss of Hell, but is in hell. Therefore, wouldn’t Hell for the boss of Hell be being in Hell and declared as the boss of hell but no one listens to him?

And because he’s a male – and we all know what men primarily think of – wouldn’t being surrounded by a sea of hot chicks with lava like lower love muscles that he can wantonly make love to if he’s willing to burn off his genitalia be truly hellish? In summation, isn’t the whole Satan/demon versus dead people thing just a little bit like the old ‘frying pan calling the kettle black’ comparison? And I have to ask, why in Hell is Hell so repetitive. I mean, given the billion zillion ways of being cruel and heartless that we already are to each other, why stick with just a story about a burning lake, bad company and a horrible retirement plan anymore?

Damnation To Forever’s Hotspot

Luckily for those sinners who believe in Hell, eternal damnation to Forever’s hotspot has always come with an escape clause. For, if one ‘repents’ of a sin, no matter how many times it’s done, no matter who the sin’s done too and no matter what the sin was, they’re given a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card by the spirit world’s big boss and allowed to live happily ever after sipping heavenly cold beverages in an air conditioned mansion. For those who do not believe in Hell, they consider it to be a place that’s used by the religious as a social wooden spoon to spank persons bottoms and/or a spiritual gun pressed to a believer’s temple for being ‘out of line’.

What Really Happens In Hell?

For thousands of years people have wondered what lies beyond life. Do we simply cease to exist? Are we reborn into another person or thing? Are we trapped in consciousness limbo? Do we go into a light or darkness? Or, are we presented with two choices; one sinfully unappealing and the other forgivingly delightful? Logic and Murphy’s Law dictate that what happens in Hell will be different things to different people. For example:

To the cashier, Hell’s being $10.00 out at the till at the end of the day, everyday and no matter hard they look, they can’t find where it went.

To the truck driver, Hell’s controlling a primal urge when the driver in front of them slows down just before going up a steep hill.

To the parent, Hell’s the loss of a child.

Ditto for those who lose loved ones – two and four legged.

To the person with dark skin, Hell’s being the only dark skinned person in a room full of light skinned people.

To the inner city teacher, Hell’s a workplace.

To the Preacher/Priest/Rabbi/Imam, Hell’s no one to preach/teach to.

To the wealthy, Hell’s poverty.

To the child, Hell’s waiting two minutes.

To those in poverty, Hell’s trying to stay alive.

To those living in a trailer, Hell’s an approaching tornado.

To the vain, Hell’s being perceived as ugly.

To the intelligent, Hell’s putting up with stupid people.

To the TV producer, Hell’s terrible ratings.

To the performer, Hell’s having no audience.

To the lover, Hell’s being unloved.

To the one who loves fishing, Hell’s not being able to go fishing.

To the internet influencer, Hell’s an extended power outage.

To the addict, Hell’s withdrawals.

To the stock broker, Hell’s a market crash.

To the powerful, Hell’s being powerless.

To the introvert, Hell’s getting attention.

To the depressed, Hell’s being told to cheer up.

To the train conductor, Hell’s a runaway locomotive.

To the soldier, Hell’s peace.

Burning And Screaming In Terrible Pain

So, in summation what really happens in Hell (for those who believe in Hell) is pretty much everything that made life hellish for someone, or whatever they choose to believe happens to ‘bad people’, multiplied many times and in an infinite number of ways. For some, that may be burning and screaming in terrible pain as horrendous things are done to them forever, while for others it can be dirty footprints on a freshly cleaned floor or a despised politician being reelected ad naseum. Now, as to the whole issue of who’s the boss of Hell, well, that just all depends on whose Hell that Hell happens to be.

In closing, for all those who do not believe in Hell, it’s very likely their Hell will be forever finding out that they were very, very wrong about Hell.