Will’s Thoughts – I met Crazy Lady on a online personals website.

I reckon that our world’s changed a heap in the last century, though our basic nature remains remarkably unchanged. I recently thought about how Crazy Lady and I met, and I realized that without the technology of today, our paths would probably have never crossed. My parents still ‘courted’ when they were youngsters, with chaperones and all. By the time I was in my twenties, folks were already ‘living in sin’, and today, things have changed so much that marriage is becoming an increasingly unpopular method of cohabitation. How folks met had changed very little though, until the internet. Then everything changed, for the better, and for the worse.

Crazy Lady and I met online on a free personals service. To the best of my recollection, her personal ad read something like this; “Hi, I’m 35, 4’9”, 375 pounds, have short red spiked hair with several piercings, tattoos and large hairy facial warts. I’m looking for someone who can bring out the best in me”.

Well, the first thing that went through my mind was, ‘Great! Win a date with Broom Hilda’. But, something about the ad didn’t sit quite right with me, so I replied; “Hi, I’m 41, 7’3”, 109 pounds, suffer from premature balding, frequent erectile dysfunction and uncontrollable flatulence. Your ad sparked my interest, so I thought I’d write to get to know you better.” She wrote back to admit that her ad was a farce, and we hit it off from there. We finally got to the stage of swapping pics, and setting up our first date.

The picture she sent me was one of her and her boys. I was sure relieved to find out that she was really tall, graceful and beautiful. The picture I sent her was a fish-eye lens webcam version, taken in a dark room with little light, and it made me look an awful lot like a toad emerging from mud after hibernation. Needless to say, she had immediate second thoughts about our date, and even though she told her friend that “maybe we can be friends” after seeing it, she remained unwavered. When I showed up at her door, the first thing she did was slap me on the arm for ‘pulling her leg’ about my appearance. From that moment on, it was all magic, and I’m still totally under her spell (maybe she’s Broom Hilda’s hot cousin:-).

Today, the online method of meeting has sure come a long way. Now, in addition to selecting the physical appearance and character of the type of person you’d like to meet, you can choose the ‘type’ of hook-up you’re looking for too. However, the risk of meeting a ‘bad’ person increases as the length of the relationship sought decreases (ie: casual dates are riskier).

I reckon that the biggest downside about getting to know someone online, is that people can say whatever they want, even use other people’s pics, and then turn out to be someone totally different when you really get to know them (eerily similar to marriage).

For Crazy Lady and I, things have worked out just fine. It’s been over a decade now (or so), and though she’s a temperamental mustache murdering cereal killer, meeting her is still, hands down, the best thing to ever happen to me (next to my kids).