Things That Husbands Should Not Say When Their Wives Are Experiencing Childbirth
Men, be forewarned that there are certain things that husbands should not say during childbirth. In fact, almost anything heard beyond, “Yes dear” and “You’re right dear” may lead to decapitation and/or the severing of one’s dangly bits. So, whatever you do, don’t say something like:
Gosh you’re lucky. I sure wish that men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
Do you think the baby will come before the hockey game starts?
Is there anything I do to help you get ready hon? The photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.
If you think having a kid hurts, let me tell you about the time that I twisted my ankle.
That was the kids on the phone. What’s for dinner?
When you lay on your back, you look a lot like a python that swallowed a wild boar.
You don’t need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.
Wow! This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.
Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?
Stop swearing, it’s not nearly as bad as you make it out to be.
Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! Now say it with me, “HEE HEE WHOO WHOO”.
I totally relate to what you’re going through. I once had a turd so big…
Wow, your stomach still looks like there’s still another one in there!